(picture from flickr; under my favorites)As I sit with my feet tucked up under me while on my favorite comfy chair and my favorite creamy, soft blanket wrapped around my shoulders I pray...It's been a rough day for me as I battle a migraine, not too bad but enough to make me want to curl up in my hubbies arms and cry. Unfortunately, I'm not given that comfort often enough in my eyes so I just pushed through the pain of the migraine and the pain in my heart that cries out for him.
It will be 15 years we have been married come Thursday but I still ache for more from him. I know
I can't change him, I've prayed that the Lord would change him, I've prayed that the Lord would change me but day in and day out it stays the same. There are times I don't think of it but it's there in the back of my mind as to what's wrong with me, why am I like this, I know he loves me deeply so why do I need more from him. I've analyzed it over and over again, had many talks with the Lord and a very close girl friend who truly is a gift from God.
As my mother would tell you I'm a very passionate person. I'm easy to please, terribly stubborn, quick to give out hugs, and no mama bear could compete against me when I get angry for what I feel is right or towards someone who has hurt the ones I love. Maybe that is the source of all my questions to find the answer...how to control my feelings has definitely been a great pain for me ALL my life.
But without a doubt I love my hubby more today than I did the day I married him. I love you darlin'...your honeybee.